It was January 4 of last year when I decided to start a new life after the worst days that I had from the previous years. It’s hard to adjust and move forward especially if you don’t know how to start. And for some of you, having that kind of decision after New Year’s Eve is like making a “New Year’s Resolution”. That decision is one of the very serious act that I ever make, but I find it really hard to live with that decision. Especially I don’t know who, where and how to get the solutions I need.
Some of us wants to get through one decision to another just to make things right. From those searching times, I realized that I need help and strongly admit that I cannot do it on my own. It was the same year when I met someone from a community volunteer service and invited me to their church activities. I joined her activities just for the sake of doing something new and escaped misery at the same time. But I wasn’t prepared for what will happen to me for the past few days. I started to attend small group meetings and church services with her. I ended up liking the community and the ambiance of the church. And for that, I built that attitude of selfishness; that I just attend the service because I like the attention and the benefits that I can get from them.
Having decisions in life can lead us to some consequences in life that’s either life-changing or life-ruining. And having that kind of realization leads me to change that attitude and turn the other way. But like I said, I wasn’t prepared for what will happen after that.
Through going to that church activities, I was able to know God and in a very different way. My eyes began to open about His existence that is apart from what I know. But more than that, my heart became to open as well, as I learned about the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross. As I get to the heart of who Jesus is, convictions about my past start creeping in. The hurt and pain that I thought was dead, still ripping inside my chest, makes me feel like as if I’d never had that change that I decided to claim.
All my life, I get through those moments where I need to decide for the best. From that day, February 16, I decided to follow Jesus Christ and accept Him as my Lord and Savior. I made a decision to trust God for a changed life and not on my own. And more than that, I decided to choose His love, His acceptance, His security, His identity, and to worship Him for all He is.
After that, trials, persecutions, condemnations, and challenges arises as I walk with that decisions. But for the first time, I felt like I’m not alone dealing with these hardships. There’s forgiveness, peace, love, mercy and compassion that’s poured on me, making it easier to move forward than before. He accepted me just as I am and heal every wound from the past. He molded and changed everything from my attitude, down to my behavior towards a right character He wants. The best thing about that, I have people from my church who loves to correct me from my old thinking and carry the burden with me. Yes! I AM NOT ALONE! Despite all the loneliness and pain that’s still creeping in, I AM NOT ALONE BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME.
After One2One, I decided to undergo water baptism and Holy Spirit baptism last July 26, 2014. One year has passed, but the decision I made with Christ still leads me to be more thankful and appreciate what God has done with my life. And as I looked back from last year, I saw the faithfulness of Him, changing this miserable, pathetic and broken girl like me, into this person that I was today. But more than the changes, having Jesus in my life is the BEST DECISION that I ever did. No longer shall I dwell on my own self but to Jesus Christ alone. The Redeemer, Savior, Shepherd, and Lover of my soul.
But by the grace of God I AM WHAT I AM, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. – 1 Corinthians 15;10
50 years from now, I will look forward to that moment when I will see Him face to face. That decision I make a year ago, I will never forget nor regret. That I will make that decision every day to follow Him and never turn back. Thank you, Jesus! I love you so much!