After Youth Worship Service (and our equipping class), something struck me as someone commented about the way we did the praise and worship. As a volunteer and a worshipper, I know that I made a commitment to God to listen to His voice as always. And it’s still my conviction as I continue to honor the Lord with everything I do. But I can’t help to feel bad about myself after that comment and I can’t seem to know why?
As leaders, we’re facing an inward battle against the environment we’re in. We tend to give in to temptations that lead us to compromise, lead us to neglect the small things, lead us to forget that we need to fight the good fight of faith to our struggles and difficulties. And myself is considered as a victim of this battle. Every time my mom would say bad things against me; when people tend to question my faith after one mistake to another; and after I did all I could do to present my work well and be excellent, bad criticisms and unmet expectations are still there to make you feel small and unworthy to everything. And to tell you the truth, I tend to give up sometimes and walk away. I tend to blame people for my misfortunes and let myself be drowned with all these hurt and lies. Maybe I’m not meant to be a leader and to be loved because that’s what people think about me.
But at the same way, I am opened to the realization that Jesus Christ is there along the way. He was there every time I made compromises, made those stupid runaways and alibis. That even though people tried to say those negative comments against me and make me feel unworthy, He is there to say “You are My daughter and My love for you is Everlasting and True.” When people are not happy with the way I worship and the way I do my job well, His presence is there to remind me that my work is never in vain when it is offered to Him excellently. And whatever sorrow or darkness comes my way, His gentle voice will always say “I am here to heal you and I am not going anywhere.” Knowing these truths and keeping them in my heart is an everyday decision I have to remind myself. We as leaders have to make that conviction every day to choose who you will listen and who you will obey. Because at the end of the day, we are all accountable for every decision and every action. We are not our own anymore and we should be thankful for it.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.- John 10:27
It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him. –Deuteronomy 13:4
Realization: I am not meant to be worldly perfect. I am not everyone’s cup of tea nor icing to their cake. l know that I can still make mistakes and failures back and forth. And people will say what they want to say even when you did your best to succeed. And I can still be ok and be thankful. Because the moment I gave my life to Christ, I know that He’s the ONLY way, truth, and life. He’s the ONLY God that can make things new no matter how old and filthy my past is. And I’m thankful that my God is not a forgetful God. His covenant remains the same and His voice is more than worth listening and worth keeping. So how about you? Who are you listening to? Where do you put your trust and who is your Blessed Assurance. I found mine and He is the voice that we ever need.